Thursday, November 6, 2014

What are the steps to pray to Allah?!

What are the steps to pray to Allah?!


PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE THERE WILL BE A QUIZ ON THIS!

1. Take off your shoes (SO FELLOW MUSLIMS CAN CHOKE FROM YOUR FOOT ODOR).
2. Wash your hands 3 times. (NOT 2 OR 4 BUT 3)
3. Rinse your mouth 3 times.
4. Clean your nose 3 times.
5. Wash your face 3 times.

6. Wash your arms 3 times.
7. Wipe your ASS 3 times. (THAT ONE ISN'T REALLY IN THERE BUT IT SHOULD BE)
8. Wipe your head with water clean your ears (ONLY ONCE LOL)
9. Wash your feet 3 times (RIGHT FOOT FIRST THEN THE LEFT LOL)
10. Turn off your cell phone (IF IT SET TO DETONATE A BOMB, YOU SHOULD WAIT UNTIL AFTER PRAYING TO BLOW UP THE KAFIRS).

11. Get your prayer mat.
12. Get on your knees.
13. Look down (BECAUSE SATAN IS DOWN THERE OF COURSE)
14. Pray (IN ARABIC EVEN IF YOU DON’T KNOW ARABIC)
15. The prayer should start with “Allahu Akhbar” (THE SAME THING YOU SAY WHEN KILLING A KAFIR)

16. At the end of the prayer you say “Asalum u Alaykum wa Rahmatullah” (WHATEVER THE HELL THAT MEANS)
And that’s it. It’s just that easy. And also remember – if you want to be Muslim – you have to hate everybody.

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